The Gift of Boredom
“I’m bored.” It’s certainly not the first time a child has expressed this sentiment. After all, when parents of elementary school-age children don’t shy away from downtime for their kids and instead intentionally plan for it, they recognize there will be a period of adjustment. They expect it will be uncomfortable because they understand that unplanned time requires problem-solving skills and the ability to think flexibly. Children aren’t born with these skills, but they do have the potential to develop them … with practice.
Flexible thinking involves thinking about something in a new way, considering another perspective, and being able to navigate change. Unexpected changes challenge mindsets, and children often require support as their big emotions take over.
When spring break involves the family going on a road trip, flying to another country, staying home with the dog for a week, or heading to a grandparents' home for a sleepover, everyone needs flexible thinking and problem-solving skills. There might be adjustments to different food, waiting for luggage after a long flight, getting creative about ‘what to do’, and missing your ‘own’ room. Parents and adult caregivers can view these teachable moments as golden opportunities to get curious, adopt an open mindset, and consider how they can model and coach the skills their children need to develop. Remember that skills are developed incrementally, and age-appropriate expectations are an essential consideration. Keep in mind that skills are taught and not caught. They require practice, practice, and more practice.
The next time you hear your children sigh, “I’m bored,” create a little space and allow them to consider what they might do. After all, boredom’s okay; it’s an opportunity to recognize what they can do, become creative, identify what is possible, and develop agency.
If you’re looking for a first step, email me at coachingnextsteps@gmail.com and request; Five Skills You Can Coach Your Children - When They Think They’re Bored. You’ll see the silver lining and celebrate your best next step.
